Where has the summer gone...

Wow....hard to believe that in a month and a half I will be at college. Pretty terrified. I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS!!!

Argh, this is how my life is. I make these huge expectations, goals, and hopes for myself, get terrified of failing, decide to just follow the expectations anyway, get more terrified, work hard, and then, more often than not, still fail. So, after all these years, I should finally be picking up on the pattern...so do I decide to drop one of those science classes or no? I am taking seventeen credits anyway...but...I want to get my science requirements out of the way...so...do I drop it or no?!

That is what has been going through my head for the past three weeks. It has been driving me insane.

In other news...

I finally finished LOTR trilogy, including the appendices (although not the ones about the calendar or the languages). Those books are incredible. The trilogy is one of the things that have been giving me hope through this time of constant doubt. After all, LOTR is, in part, about fighting a hopeless battle--but fighting anyway. While reading it, I would tell myself, "Hey--Frodo is fulfilling his task even though hope is next to nil...maybe I can too!" I mean, yes, this is the real world, and, yes, Frodo is fictional, but I still cannot help but be motivated anyway. My dream is next to impossible. So was Frodo's task. Frodo managed to finish his quest. The question is...can I? I guess I will just have to wait and see...

But, speaking of my crazy dream and college and stuff, I have decided to start my studying early. I am currently reading some Shakespeare plays as well as some lectures on understanding Shakespeare, so as to help me be prepared for my class. Oh golly...so much to do...

...and so little time! Summer is almost half over, and I have hardly read anything that I had planned to read this summer! I mean, I have been working (for my job) like crazy so as to save for college and beyond (what with an English major, I will need every penny I find), which definitely limits my time I could spend on reading and studying. But I love my work--and it is very necessary. So I will just try to make use of every minute. So...WHY AM I UPDATING THE BLOG?!

Better take out those Shakespeare books.

{evie}